So many questions, not so many answers...

I read a quote once. It went "There are only 2 important days in your life -  the day you were born and the day you discover why".
Thought provoking indeed.
Have you discovered why you were born?
I haven't.
I only know the day I was born.
What is my purpose in life?
Who do I intend to be?
What am I to become?
What is my role in the society?
What is my contribution to the world?

The mind is fickle. I want to do something today and something else tomorrow. 
What is my true aspiration?
I don't know and it frustrates me no end.
I want to change the world, get some radical brilliant idea that would revolutionize everything. 
But at the end of the day I am still sitting in my office cubicle, just losing time with no sense of purpose.
When you don't know the destination, the path is meaningless.
Many are content with a decent job that pays well (even if the job is mediocre), a home to return to and some idle pass-times.
But I want more.
I don't want just a mediocre job. The money, although very much necessary just doesn't cut it. 
I don't have peace of mind because I don't think I am doing enough. There is no satisfactions because I am not doing something I love.
What do I love doing then?
I love writing. I love coding. I love photography. I love many things.
What I don't know is what is stopping me from pursuing it full time. 
Maybe it is the money. Maybe it is the feeling that others are already established in the field that it is saturated and I don't bring in anything new.
Perhaps my perception itself is flawed. Perhaps I should just get on with it and see where it leads.
At least that would be a start.
There are so many questions, no answers.
Yet.

Untitled

Listening to the rain drops pattering,
I sat by the window gazing.
Falling over earth, mankind hardly mattering,
She unleashed her fury, all guns blazing.

Calm prevailed, the storm long gone,
Leaving behind the aroma of wet mud.
Lovers strolled, hands one in one,
The sun beamed through, in the sky a giant stud.

Insignificant as we are, before Gaia,
Even with our dreams so big, ambition so tall,
A moment spent soaking up the Maya,
Should inspire us to live, before we fall.

If tomorrow never comes....

If tomorrow never comes,
To all those people I have hurt- I am truly sorry
To all those people who love me- I love you all too
To all those people I have fought with- Please forgive me
To all those people who have touched my life, knowingly or unknowingly- I am deeply indebted
To all those people who have strove for me and supported me- Thank you for being there
If tomorrow never comes, I won't regret what has passed. What I didn't do and what I won't be able to do would be my only regrets.
Thank you for today.

Musings

Why is it easier to give advice but not take it? Why is it easier to preach than practice? They say walk a 1000 miles in a person's shoes to understand what that person is going through. But hey, when you can give free advice without having to do that, why would you even bother? Only when you find yourself in the same or similar situation does the gravity of it hit you. The same advice that you handed out without measure becomes infinitely tough to use on yourself. We are all hypocrites, changing our spots at our convenience. Twisting the rules to suit us. Hardly accountable, even to ourselves. Psychopaths convince themselves that their actions are justified. They believe in a lie so strongly that it becomes the truth for them. No lie detector/polygraph can detect a lie, because there isn't any when it has been made the truth.We convince ourselves of our actions in a similar fashion. Providing excuses for why something was done, even eliciting sympathy by justifying our predicament, while belittling others'. A voice within us pushing, prodding, encouraging, supporting our actions as needed.And we concede. Hypocrites, all of us.

The Time Is Now

Procrastination
n. the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying.

It is 1:12AM and I am telling myself "Let's hit the bed now, let me finish this blog tomorrow. After all, there is no hurry." Well, this isn't the first time but I am hoping it is the last time I ever procrastinate.

We are all procrastinators. Sitting on that office Power Point presentation that you were supposed to have finished a week back. Or catching back to back episodes of The Mentalist when your mom had asked you to run an errand. It's endless!

I have come to realize that this has to end (influenced by a close friend who drove home the point during the course of an hour long sermon!). I am going to give in to The System. I do it now or I don't do it ever. The more I postpone things, the more lethargy I build and the more stagnant I become in life.
If you want to achieve something in life, you have to start working for it. Take the path first, as my friend said, before you think of the destination. And this is possible only when you sit your mind down (Oh the all powerful, persuasive, sweet talking, diverting mind) and say "Hey, I have had enough of your blarney and sweet enticements of laziness. Begone! My time starts now." and you just start.
It is like running the 100m sprint as soon as the gun is fired.
And there is no looking back till you have crossed the line.
Time is short.
Make the most of it.
Fire the gun.
Now.

Dream on

I was browsing through my timeline on Facebook a while ago and happened to see a couple of adverts (share by my friend) of the company I used to work with a few months back. Don't quote me, but the blurb went something like this: "Are you content and satisfied? Worry! Stay restless. Join us for a restless life."
Sound similar to Steve Jobs' "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."?
Of course, contrary to what many people think, that is not an original quote by Steve Jobs. The catch-line was the last words printed behind the cover of the last issue of Whole Earth Catalog which Mr. Jobs happened to read. But that's besides the point.

The point is what these taglines wish to convey or infuse into the minds of people who read them.
If you take the literal meaning, is it wrong or mundane for someone to be content and satisfied? If you ask around on what people want in life, some may say adventure. Others may want some sort of thrill. Most would, however, want to lead a content and satisfied life.

What is content and satisfaction? 
Nothing but a state of mind, just what the ad is all about.
Of course for the companies themselves, this is an attempt to showcase that they are one of the best places to be working at and by working there you somehow set yourself apart from the crowd (!).

I, for one, would apply the punchline to life in itself.

Why limit satisfaction to a 9-5 job with a decent pay and simple home with a happy family to return to? Or to being content by downing a couple of beers with a few friends on a Friday night?
In fact, if you are working your 9-5 job only for the pay so that you can survive and satisfy some of your and your family's materialistic needs, then you are fooling yourself if you think only that is satisfaction and being content.
 Push the boundaries. Do things that you love doing. Try different things, you never know what you will fall in love with next.

Content, satisfaction and happiness are about living life and not about existing.
They cannot be a destination, the journey and the exploration takes precedence.

Fade to black

The very thought of death makes me numb. Can anyone prepare for death, knowing that it will eventually, inevitably greet you? I don't think so. What would be one's state of mind when he or she knows that the sands of time are running low? What thoughts would seep into the head? How does he or she go about everyday affairs? How would the people around this person react? The days would seem truly numbered. One can't possibly fathom the feeling.
All that a person can hope to do is to try and live a relatively satisfactory life, a life of content, with the near and dear ones taken care of; so that when life passes by in front of the eyes as he or she looks at the sky for one last time, there will be no regrets.